Okay, I know only about 3 people read this blog, but in the event that other people come across it, MY FACEBOOK HAS BEEN HACKED! Do not talk to this jerk off pretending to be me and asking for money. I am not in London. I have not been robbed. DO NOT WIRE ANYONE MONEY WHO IS ASKING FOR IT OVER FACEBOOK! UGH! THIS IS SUCH A NIGHTMARE!!!
Now that I have gotten that taken care of, I must share a story about how stupid guys are.
So New Year's Eve, I was out with Tara and various others at this restaurant/bar place in Oakland that was sort of pathetically empty. But we stayed there because a friend was bartending. Well, around 1am this guy came in... Unattractive, clearly intoxicated. He sat down next to me (my feet were in pain, plus the only people on the dance floor were about 60 and the music was not really good for dancing). So basically, he's blatently hitting on me and I'm blatently not interested. After about 20 minutes, the ridiculousness insued:
Joe: Are you a lesbian?
Me: What?! No, do I come off that way?
Joe: No, but I've been hitting on you for half an hour and you aren't responding.
Me: Well, there's a more obvious reason for that than assuming I'm gay.
Joe: Really what's that?
Me: Umm... Sorry, but I'm just not interested.
Joe: In men? I knew it!
Me: NO! I mean, YES I am interested in men! Just not YOU!
Joe: No, that can't be it.
Me: (GASP! SHOCKED LOOK!) Umm, right. Whatever you say. (I excused myself to the bathroom, then proceeded to sit with Tara and Chris such that he would have no possibility of sitting with us.)
Talk about not taking a hint. He couldn't even take it straightforwardly! GEEZ LOUISE!
Why do crazy people find me? Why am I the person whose identity gets stolen and whose facebook gets hacked? I don't want to complain, but I'm just wondering. If someone can just tell me what vibe I send out that makes crazy people flock to me (or try to BE me), please let me know!
Note: The New Year's Eve story has been edited and embellished for length/humor's sake. The majority of it, however, is true. And so goes my crazy life. (This will definitely be in my book, Guys are Idiots).
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