"If one is to love oneself, one must behave in ways that one can admire." -Irvin Yalom
That's one of my favorite quotes, probably because I believe in the truth of it so whole-heartedly. I see kids who make really unfortunate choices and they can't understand why they are so unhappy - they just are. They THINK they admire the behaviors they engage in, but they don't quite yet comprehend that admirable behaviors are not synonymous with "cool," particularly in adolescence.
I find self-love quite difficult to attain and maintain, perhaps because I live by this quote a little too stringently. I often find myself disappointed with my actions, despite the fact that they aren't objectively bad or problematic. I generally feel that my best is not good enough. Recently, I have been feeling particularly disappointed in myself. For the first time in about 3 years, I made a choice that was not just subjectively, but objectively poor, although most of my friends think I'm being stupid and making a big deal out of something that is not. That brings me back to the Yalom quote. Regardless of what others think, I have to behave in a way that I ADMIRE in order to love myself.
Of course, I encourage my clients to forgive themselves and not dwell on past actions that they are unable to change, and yet I cannot do that myself. Why am I harder on myself than other people?
Okay, I'm rambling. More later... or not. Who knows?
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