Stuck

Lately, I've been living my life between a rock and a hard place. I'm not going to make a laundry list of my grievances, but suffice it to say that literally NOTHING has worked out.

Now, I am a person of faith. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason. Despite this, it's hard to not take some of these things very personally. It's hard not to question whether or not I chose the right career, even though I AM good at working with adolescents. It's hard not to look at everyone getting married and having kids and not feel angry at myself for pursuing my career first.

I have fallen into somewhat of a depression. I mean, I technically meet criteria, but I think it's hard for me as an almost psychologist to admit that I'm depressed. Also, it's not impeding my functioning so much that I can't go to work - I'd say I'm just overall less effective and efficient than my potential.

I donated about half of my wardrobe to Good Will last week. I'm seriously considering either chopping or dying my hair or both. I want to trade in my car. I want to move to San Francisco.

Obviously, I feel the need for a change. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do next year, but whatever it is, I'm hoping I can do it from SF. In reality, I need a roommate, so the SF thing probably won't happen, but I'm holding onto it for the time being.

I'm turning 28 in about 16 weeks, and I've decided I want to lose 28 pounds by the time I turn 28. It's totally doable in a healthy way if I follow a plan and exercise. I'm hoping by writing it in here, I'll be motivated because I know someone's read it. Anyway, because everything feels so up in the air and out of control, this is something I could have control over if I don't let my emotions get in the way. Maybe if I get the ball rolling on my health, other things in my life will start to fall into place/come into focus. I have been completely neglectful of my SELF for the last whole year... 2 really. I don't look or feel like the person I know is somewhere inside of me.

I know this is a vague post, but I really don't feel like going into everything. Instead of dwelling, I need to deal with what I have and do what I can to move my life forward - at least in the areas that I have some choice/control over.

So that's where I'm at. Hopefully, in a few more weeks I'll have some more insights. I'll hopefully also have some updates on weight loss.